QUESTION:
We are about three weeks into our pregnancy and she is already very grouchy and hateful. No matter what I do or say it is wrong or not good enough. Is this normal?
ANSWER:
No, it is not normal but it is not uncommon either. New moms-to-be have a lot of heavy issues to process, plus with hormones kicking in, they can go off the deep end. So definitely do not take this personally.
Ask her what is bugging her, and insist on an answer for the good of your baby. No matter how ticked you get, stick with the basics: encouragement (your going to be a good mom), solidarity (we are in this together), and support (how are you feeling?; is there anything I can do to help?).
Let her know of your commitment to being a good dad, and just talk. Making a family is a process, with plenty of time, and just staying on the high road will generally get there.
With over 200,000 men participating in Boot Camp for New Dads, it is clear that moms are the biggest issues that dads-to-be face. Our book Crash Course for Dads-To-Be has a lot of information that draws on our combined experience.
Let me know how it works out. And congratulations!