Getting Ready For Your Baby

"She came 5 weeks early. We were not even close to being ready."

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Worrying Constructively

“Everybody says it’s going to change your life. OK—well, what does that mean?”

You have a lot of work ahead, crucial strategies to develop, and a life changing personal transformation to navigate. A man becoming a father has a lot on his mind. A good first step is to focus on those issues worth the mind space. Here are a few things our dads have learned that may help you out:

Don't Worry About...

Your Baby's Birth

Go ahead and worry about your baby — everyone does. And worry about your wife being in pain. But as far as concerns about succeeding as her birth coach, we put everything you need to know in the Cornerman’s Coaching Guide on Newdads.com.(link to)Download, print, look it over, and when she says “I think I feel it”, you’ll be ready to go.

Dropping Your Baby

Dads don’t drop their infants, and neither will you. On the other hand, once they go mobile at six months or so, our dumb and fearless babies regularly attempt to shorten their own longevity. That is when you should worry.

Taking Care of Your Baby

In our workshops, even the most nervous guys only take a few minutes to get used to holding a baby. After just a few times changing, feeding, burping, or bathing your baby, you’ll get the hang of it. While the first few days can be frustrating, you’ll get 80% of it down after two weeks and soon you’ll be an expert on your own baby.

Think About...
The New Mom in Your Life
Some new fathers are stunned by a rapid decline in their relationship once the baby arrives; others find theirs ultimately flourishing. If you understand how a wife transforms into a mother, how to support her, how to work together in raising your baby, and how to bring back the romance, you will be a happy dad.

The Economics of a Baby
Your family’s finances will change, and you’ll need to respond constructively. In addition to outlining a new family budget, you’ll also need to look at who works, who cares for the baby, commitments to long commutes or big mortgages, and how both you and mom can bring balance to your lives, etc. Needless to say, big changes may be in order.

You Should Expect

Ambivalence at Times

Expect downs with the ups; you may cry joyfully at her birth and wonder what you got yourself into a week later. This is surprising and may run counter to your expectations, but sleep deprivation, rapid change in your life, and the sacrifices you make can overwhelm your feelings for a child you barely know.

To Gain Strength from Your Baby

A child brings out the best in us and make us stronger. All of us have issues we would like to handle — from getting a degree to quitting smoking. However, when we hold our very immortality in our arms, finding inner-strength and the motivation to get it done comes easier. The fulfillment you get from being a dad will fuel your drive to continually do more.

To Come Last for a While

The distinguishing characteristic of a man who transforms into a dad is that his priorities shift from his own interests to his child, partner, work, and then himself. The changes in their lives are profound, but they take them in stride, even when sleep deprived.

The Need to Be Proactive

It’s easy to get swept along in mom’s wake on the changes a new baby brings, but you run the risk of going in a direction you will regret. Fatherhood is a huge rite of passage for any man, and getting educated, developing a plan, and becoming involved is a no-brainer. Do you want a great place to start? Ask yourself what your own father was like and how you want to be.

"Be calm and trust yourselves ... a lot will come naturally."