☐ "Sleep whenever you can" is the first recommendation new parents get, and the last one followed. You need to make sleep a priority and prepare a sleep plan, as Mom will be so focused on her baby’s needs that she'll forget about her own. Check out our Getting Sleep section for much more info.

☐ Make a "Postpartum Deal" with your partner. Postpartum depression symptoms are definitive, and if they show up, you will likely be the only one around her to notice. A popular “deal” for dads to make with new moms is that if he sees signs of PPD, he will make sure mom gets in to see her doctor. 

☐  Regularly check your own mental health. We're learning more about the impact of the stress dads are experiencing as new parents, and it turns out guys are not immune to the baby blues.

☐ Watch for "Gatekeeping." Hormonally driven new moms tend to take over the care of the baby, no matter how egalitarian you both wanted your parenting to be. If she starts gatekeeping (keeping you from helping out and interacting with the baby), we recommend a deal in which you call her on it, and Mom leaves the room. If more effective action is necessary, Mom leaves the baby with you and goes to the mall.

☐ Build your team. Talk about who will do what and how when it comes to the workload of cleaning, cooking, etc. now to be ready when it hits.

New dads are surprised by the sheer amount of work - childcare, housework and producing income – that arrives with a baby. They find that instead of dividing the workload up with Mom, it's best in the first months if both parents just pitch in on everything. Soon you can streamline meal prep, ordering diapers, laundry, vacuuming, bottle washing, etc., but maybe not right away.

☐  Talk with your partner about your financial concerns and map out a plan to stretch those dollars. Do it now, as it will be very difficult to find the time, energy and emotional focus to do it after the baby arrives. Creating a simple budget will make the best use of your money and prevent a lot of unnecessary stress. See Legal & Financial for more information on preparing financially.

☐  Go over the Childbirth Cornerman’s Guide and talk about your plans for birth together. If she wants a ”natural birth,” (with no drugs) point out that plans often don’t work out, and create a code word for Mom to use (“Red!”) if she opts for an epidural due to pain once labor begins.

☐  Download a free contraction timing app for your phone:

• iPhone App: Full Term - Labor Contraction Timer
• Android Google Play: Contraction Timer

☐  See our list of things people can help you with (cooking, shopping, errands) and start outlining visitor rules for those first days. “Help” from friends and relatives can be (and should be) helpful. You don’t want regrets over intrusions in your early days as a family, but you still may want to make full use of your “village.” 

Your family will need:

☐ "Mom friends" for Mom, and perhaps a mom group.

☐ "Dad friends"  for you - take the initiative with rookies you meet at childbirth class if none of your current buddies are procreating yet. You're gonna want to talk about what you're going through with someone who isn't your child's mother...

☐ Willing grandparents -  don’t push them away with a long list of baby care rules. You will need their support.

☐ Hired help like a babysitter. - save your money on baby stuff and spend it here.

☐ A mom who accepts help so those around get comfortable offering help.