Families are the soft place to land where everything is just as it should be, through joys and challenges.
A strong family is built on basic principles that begin falling into place shortly after childbirth, and as brand-new parents, you’ll face a steep and ongoing learning curve.
We don’t offer magical solutions or hidden short cuts that guarantee your success as a family, and anyone claiming to offer them is pulling your leg. What we do offer is valuable guidance (on overlooked topics) to get you through those early, formative months—info that comes pretty close to being magical in its ability to help things fall into place.
“Ultimately, our family is like a house. Have you ever seen a house that’s been built on an uneven foundation? The windows and walls start cracking. Take care of the relationship, because you and Dad are the foundation of the house. If you’re not connected, your family is on very uneven ground.”
– New Mom
When our grandparents were building their families, the pace of life was much slower, more deliberate, and the amount of information available was doubling every 25 years. Today, information doubles every 12 months, and there are predictions we’ll see information doubling every 12 days in the near future!
If you’re getting the idea that we’re creating families in a cyclone where the pace of life moves at light speed, you’re right. The truth is it’s impossible to know exactly what kind of world we’re preparing our kids for, and the only certainty is that resilience, flexibility, creativity, and a solid identity will be needed—and children get these traits from their family. You, your partner, and your whole extended tribe will create the strong foundation that prepares your children to thrive in the world.
“The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.”
- George Santayana, Writer
“I think about the fact that we know we are all part of a family, but we’re doing our night time routine, reading him a book, and I'm like, 'This is my family...I'm a mom, he's a dad: We're a family!’ I've always been someone's daughter or daughter-in-law, but now this is MY family. It's very empowering.”
– New Mom
What Does “Family” Mean to Us?
In shaping your family, you and Dad will want to be on the same page in terms of your beliefs and goals:
- What are the most important aspects of family life?
- How will we nurture these aspects?
- Our "North Star": What will keep us on track?
- What do we want our kids to feel and learn about family?
- What do we want our family to look like twenty years from now?
Communication plays a big part in guaranteeing your patterns are working to create your vision.
Before the baby is born, spend time together imagining the kind of family you both want and talking about what gets you there. The hopes, dreams, and ideas that flow from this conversation will be the beginning of a plan that guides your family.
Look at patterns falling into place, and ask yourselves: “Will we be happy with this two years from now?” If “no,” re-think things and try a different approach. If “yes,” celebrate and stay the course.
And be sure to continue checking in with each other, especially after things have settled down (usually when your baby’s about three months old).
Just having the awareness that caring for your family means being intentional about your choices and working as a team makes all the difference. Together, you and Dad are building a solid foundation and future—and that’s what it’s all about!