Courting a New Mom

 "I just wanted to hear your voice." - New Dad

Courting a New Mom

 "I just wanted to hear your voice." - New Dad

She Is Transforming

Perhaps metamorphizing like a caterpillar into a butterfly, given the beauty of her intense love for your baby. If that sounds sappy, it is to make a point; sappy can work when you are courting a girl and, and as a changed woman, she is your new girl.

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Appreciating her as the mother of your child is always your best move, as the new part of her is all mom. The passion and strength she brings to motherhood is awesome and worthy of your deep respect, but over time it becomes easy to get used to and take for granted. So before you make your move, look at her with your baby and take moment for a little love burst. Then let her know how lucky you and your baby are that she is his mother. 

BTW, what goes around comes around. As she gets to know the new you, and sees you in action caring for her baby, she will become re-enamored with you. (Our polling indicates maximum effect when you are giving your baby a bath).

This is how your new baby can strengthen your marriage or union.

You Will Be Biologically Dumped 

To give your baby all the attention and love he needs, she gives him what she used to give to you and more. What you lose, he gains; looking at this in a positive light is tough if, like many new dads, you are shocked at the degree of your disconnection. She still loves you but is literally not feeling it.

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Biological research tells us why moms dump dads; at birth she gets a flood of oxytocin and then booster shots from her baby every time she holds him. You used to generate most of her oxytocin, but her now overwhelmed system gets more than she needs and doesn’t want any more. It’s tough to get used to her rejecting your caresses and cuddles; your biology helps out some by substantially reducing your testosterone for the first six weeks after the birth.

Plan on getting dumped so you will be able to respond constructively with patience. 

Window of Opportunity for Fathers 

The tribe and village are largely gone and a mother’s primary support is dad, so you have a lot on your plate. Bottom line – your performance during this crucial post-birth period will form the basis for her new perspective of you as the father of her child and her partner as a parent. The long-term potential of your actions during this initial period will easily justify any effort you can muster, and then some. 

A New Dad’s Perspective

“The hardest part mentally for me is that she's still the center of my universe and I know I'm not the center of hers anymore. This makes me sound spoiled, I'm sure, but remember we've been looking after each other for 10 fun years. I know it's supposed to be this way, and I chose her and I'm attracted to her because she's responsible, but it still feels wrong. I'm not done with the transition yet. I know she’s progressed to a place I haven’t yet, but I know I will get there.”    - New Dad