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Sex in Six Weeks to Six Months
Most doctors say six weeks after a normal vaginal delivery and she is good to go. Actually, she will be good to go not only when she is physically ready, but when she feels like it, which means when she is feeling rested, good about her baby, good about her body, and good about you. With all the changes she is experiencing, this could take awhile.
While six weeks may seem like an agonizingly long time to the sex starved male, this period of post-delivery abstinence is generally a best-case scenario. While she may want to accommodate your eager advances on day one of the seventh week, don't be unduly disappointed if it does not happen.
Factors that conspire to interfere with intercourse include:
This is the big one. With the baby waking her up regularly at night and demanding continual care throughout the day, by the time the next evening rolls around, she is generally exhausted.
On top of just being tired, the massive changes in her life leave her stressed out, overwhelmed and without the desire or energy necessary for sex. Even when she is willing and ready for the big night, more often than not, her head hits the pillow and she is out.
Soreness and Pain
While some moms who had a Caesarean delivery may actually be able to enjoy intercourse earlier, many women experience complications such as perineal tearing and episiotomy, which can extend the recovery period.
She may be experiencing extra pain and need more time before the stitches heal or she is otherwise physically ready.
While her bodily transformation reverses course at delivery, it is going to take many months for her to get back to normal, and her body will never be the same. In the meantime, she can feel like a deflated, floppy balloon, and feeling unattractive is a huge turnoff for her.
She wonders "will I ever feel desirable again?," oblivious to the fact that you feel she is. Again, it is not your feelings, but hers that count.
Fear of Getting Pregnant Again
The last thing she wants to do is repeat her ordeal while it is still fresh in her mind. While contraception is available, complete abstinence provides the best assurance.
Demands of the Baby
Mom's attention is always on the baby: "She might wake up and we won't hear her," or if the baby is in the room, "We might wake the baby." She may find messing around with the baby nearby makes her feel uncomfortable or even ashamed.
It's also tough to make love when your ears are fine-tuned to pick up the slightest peep from the baby. One needs to focus on turn-on's, and any distraction is by definition a turn off. Of course, ardor fades rapidly when interrupted by crying.
Side Effects of Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding has great benefits, but there is a downside when it comes to lovemaking. Hormones associated with milk production cause vaginal dryness, a condition that makes sex unattractive, if not painful.
It is also common that breasts and nipples are too sore and tender to touch, or are simply off limits to dad as they are "for the baby." While you may be banished from the breasts until further notice, breastfeeding does facilitate mom's pregnancy weight loss.
After giving birth, mom is awash in a stew of hormones, which do not subside quickly, especially if she breast feeds.
Her biology, coupled with everything else going on in her life, may put her sex drive in reverse. The major reason new moms want to delay making love is that they just don't feel like it.
While a mother's wonderful intimacy with her baby is very fulfilling, it can replace her need for a sensual relationship with dad. If she's breastfeeding a baby six or so times a day, she can get to the point that she just does not want anyone else to even touch her.
Frustrated women rarely find themselves in the mood, and new moms have a lot to be frustrated about. Feelings of lost careers, an inability to catch up on the housework, a life controlled by feeding schedules can all add up to major frustration.
She may be angry with you over a myriad of issues, and even jealous if she feels she has taken the brunt of new baby responsibilities. Lingering resentment is a major issue, and sex is usually the first casualty.
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