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Ideas For Getting Ahead of Her Curves
It is all About Her
Being generally deprived, your initial thoughts, emanating from your pants, are all about a hot time in the sack doing (and receiving) what you like. The less frequently we get it, our pent up demand has us coming on like a bull in heat. Which of course is not what she is looking for.
She wants a warm, gentle, laid back approach from a guy who makes her feel like a hottie, no matter what she sees in the mirror.
A little anticipation stokes her embers, where too much creates unwanted pressure. (Keep your comments and props to a minimum, as gentle actions like a body rub speak much more effectively). Make sure she gets hers; generally first.
Learn What She Likes
Let her know her pleasure is your top priority. As a new mom, her likes and dislikes might have changed. Your focus on learning what really turns her on will be appreciated and eventually answered with guidance on pushing her buttons.
Avoid treating your inquiry as a clinical diagnosis by constantly asking, "Does that feel good?" or, "Are you there yet?" Concentrate on what she suggests and how her body responds.
Help Her Feel Sexy
Being sexy is mostly about attitude, and she will be if you treat her so. With her flabby tummy, stretch marks and lack of time to take care of her looks, she will likely feel she no longer appeals to you, and so you are out-of-luck.
Make her feel wanted, appealing, even a sex goddess by letting her know you think she is, and it will become a self fulfilling prophecy. Tell her she is beautiful, hot, and soft, and pat her on the butt, kiss her on the neck, etc.
Help Her Lose Her Pregnancy Weight
Take a constructive approach like telling her how good she looks, and she is more likely to respond; negative comments that indicate you feel she is fat will invariably backfire.
Encourage her to take a class while you cover at home; yoga, spinning, belly dancing, etc. all get her on the road to feeling and looking good and give her some essential time to herself.
You might even suggest sex as the great aerobic exercise it is (we have actually never found this approach to be effective, but hope springs eternal, and you may be the first to succeed).
Let Her Take Control
To really light her jets, she needs to relax and focus on what turns her on. At the same time, she has a lot of distractions (demanding baby, horny husband) that compete for her attention.
Her body, upon which the baby has staked an irrefutable claim, is also more sensitive, and she is anxious about what you want to do to her. Back off and let her take control, and you will get farther.
Learn Bedroom Finesse - Perhaps for the First Time
Most guys aren't exactly Don Juan in bed. If you want her to enjoy herself as much as possible, you may need to learn how to really turn her on.
Men's magazines are full of advice and ads for better sex videos, so some of us must be buying them and using what we learned. A variety of books and alternatives exist; keep in mind that a little education might go a long way.
An overnight trip + a romantic location not too far from home + a trusted babysitter = sexual nirvana. Her constant focus on the baby can subside, allowing her to enjoy herself and you.
Be flexible, enable regular communication with the baby sitter, and if she is breastfeeding, don't forget the breast pump.
Seek Sexual Spirituality
A baby enhances the innate spirituality shared by a couple, which can bring new meaning and more profound passion to your lovemaking.
While spirituality may seem the polar opposite of the feelings of naughtiness that drive sexual desire, it can add serious icing to the cake when sex is viewed as a celebration of mom and dad's love and commitment.
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