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Find or Make Time
Re-igniting the romance requires making time for dates - or fun, or anything else that allows you to burn off pent-up stress together. While going out to dinner and a movie is great, your time with mom doesn't have to be logistically challenging. Sometimes, it just takes a few minutes alone away from your baby to feel like you still have a life together.
Getting Mom Out
Since moms are inextricably connected to their babies, they often find it very difficult to get away at first. No baby sitter can be trusted; the baby might get hungry or cry and need her, etc. Even though the best thing she can do is to get a break from the baby, she may not be able to bring herself to do it, even if she really wants to.
Her link to the baby can be like a sea anchor in her otherwise storm tossed life, and even going out for a few hours can make her feel she is cutting her moorings and abandoning her baby. She needs to get out, and you need to figure out how to make it happen.
Planned outings that don't work out represent progress, so be patient and persistent. Even if she seems to sandbag the whole process, when moms finally get away, their relief and relaxation is obvious and appreciated.
Pre-Arrange a Date Night
Schedule it well in advance. Ask her what she might want to do and arrange it. Ask a close friend or relative (who is familiar with the baby) to watch him for a few hours so you two can spend time alone together. Don't be disappointed if it does not work out at first, as new parents report the scheduled date strategy works less than half the time. Keep at it.
Find a Good Babysitter
You and your partner will be much more comfortable leaving the house without your baby once you find a trustworthy babysitter. Standard recommendations:
- Ask for referrals from friends with babies.
- Interview babysitter candidates - prepare a list of questions beforehand.
- Ask the sitter for references from other clients and check them.
- For infants, use a mature babysitter - that is, an adult.
Date at Home
While getting out is important, so is relearning to have fun together in your own home. Try a video date, blanket in front of the fire, a puzzle, or music, candles and wine.
Save Water in the Shower
You're both going to take a shower at some point. So why not take one together?
Sleeping Like an Angel
When the baby has just been put to bed, you have an opportunity to do something romantic with your partner. Establishing a little "our time now" on a regular basis is a huge milestone for new parents, and even an hour or so while your little angel sleeps works.
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